Parenting: Adapt and Grow

I never imagined being a step parent. Then again, I never imagined a lot of things, but they happened.

The love I have for my husband extends to his son, now our son, Gage. Being a mother of girls and only girls I have learned a lot. Did I think I had learned more than enough about kids? I could confidently give a resounding “YES!”, but that was a couple of years ago. Life was like, “Desiree, there is much more for you to learn. Let’s see how you can adapt to having another three!” Having a nearly 6 year old son in the house has thrown me for a loop.

His energy level cannot be rivaled against anyone in this house. He can run around all day and still have the energy of someone ready to run a marathon. You know how that old saying goes, “If you could bottle up that energy, we would be millionaires” it is the honest to goodness truth. I really wish I could have his kind of energy. I believe I could get a lot more done in a shorter amount of time.

He has a wonderful imagination. His favorite song is “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly, but before he could hurt himself, we had to tell him that the song wasn’t really about flying. He has a unique take on life and is eager to get approval, especially when he’s suggesting ways to get things done. I continue to learn a lot from him.  When it comes to taking time out of being the busy mom, he reminds me that I need to just enjoy all the little things.

Today, Anthony and I went out for a walk and brought Gage along. It was a beautiful clear blue sky type of morning and we were anxious to get our miles in. We took one loop around the lake, but Gage wanted to go over the bridge and stand on a little island where the ducks like to gather. We told him we’d go over there the next time around. At the beginning of the second loop, he was already lagging, but I knew it wouldn’t be as simple as saying, “Hurry up, let’s go.” If you are a parent, you know that a child’s mind says the opposite. We slowly made our way over to the bridge where he was able to sit and watch the ducks, while we walked loops around the island and the bridge.

When kids aren’t agreeing to your terms of rigidity, we as parents must adapt and grow. Just remember, they aren’t going to be little forever. 

Labor, Delivery and Birth in the Time of COVID-19

…this isn’t a false alarm, my water did break.

June 26, 2020

12:15 AM– I woke up and felt a warm gush of fluid on my backside. I poked my husband and said, “It’s time. My water broke.” He snapped into action without a single word. These sort of things happen in the most unexpected times. My friend, Zury, had her water break while picking up crickets at a pet store.

When I got up out of bed and stood up, a stream of fluid came rushing out of me. “Yeah, this isn’t a false alarm my water really did break.” Immune to other comments I made throughout the previous day due to a false alarm the previous Monday, we agreed we would not make another trip to the hospital unless my water broke. Mucous plug gone, close contractions and this being my fifth baby, meant nothing, except for the simple fact that anything could happen at anytime.

I have heard stories of women having their second baby so quickly that they had no time to get to the hospital. Well, I was on my fifth one and this one seemed just as stubborn as the last.

Brooklyn was born nearly 11 months prior. Labor and delivery took a total of 12 hours. With that said, I was prepared for a long night. In our overnight bag, we had two four packs of Redbull. The second pack was courtesy of our seven year old daughter. A gift for Father’s Day.

We were both pretty groggy as we replenished our overnight bag with extra clothes, cell phone chargers, and RedBulls for my husband . 15 minutes later we headed to the hospital.

12:30 AM– We listened to “Nonstop” by Drake on the way to the hospital, passing through the empty streets of Citrus County into downtown Inverness. We are are from the epicenter of COVID-19. There are currently 264 confirmed cases and 12 deaths, compared to Miami-Dade with 31,562 and 947 deaths. Earlier in the day I had my introduction to COVID-19 testing. I had curbside testing done with a dry swab up my right nostril in preparation to being induced Sunday June 28th at 6pm. Dr. Gonzales wanted to make sure I was having the baby before Week 40.

12:50-7:45AM– I was all checked in and hooked up to a monitor for any changes. The nurses were waiting for Dr. Antony to make a decision to either give me Pitocin or wait the contractions out. Thankfully, Pitocin was the answer.

10:00 AM– I had the epidural. I have experienced one birth without one and I really did not want to experience that again, so yes I opted for a less painful labor and delivery. My attending nurse, Crystal told me to tell her that when I felt like, “Taking the biggest dump of your lifetime.” The heads up would give her just enough time to let Dr. Antony know that it was time for me to push that baby out.

11:20 AM– I let her know.

11:30-11:35 AM– Four pushes later, Kylie Augusta Haros came into the world. Anthony cut the cord while she rested on my chest. 7 lbs 12 oz. 21” long. Her lungs were strong unlike the birth of her older sister who had a cord wrapped around her neck. It was a completely different scene that occurred in the same room in the not so distant past.

The nurses and doctors at Citrus Memorial Hospital were absolutely wonderful to us. We joke about looking forward to our “vacation” next year, but we both know I need a break from the preggo scene. For now we are going to enjoy our time with our family and revisit the topic of trying for a boy for another season.

Thanks for taking the time to read our post. Labor, delivery and birth in the time of COVID-19 was a success and we are ever so grateful for all the blessings our family has received during these scary times.

Peach Cobbler and More…

If I can’t laugh at a situation, I would be crying.

As this pregnancy begins to wind down, I have gone into full on nesting mode. I am 33 weeks along. There are days when I felt like I lived in the kitchen, but I’m sure you are realizing now that this post isn’t just about peach cobbler.

We have lived in our current rental for over a year and a half, but it hasn’t really felt like home until now.

There have been so many changes since 2018. My kids and mother have had to adjust to having Anthony in their lives. The adjustment to Step dad and then being called Dad has been at times an intense process, but a loving one. He loves my children as his own and shows it daily. He goes above and beyond looking after their needs and their well-being. They will always go to him before me when they need to talk or need some advice. I am forever grateful for all that he does.

I have come to realizations time and time again that a marriage cannot simply be based on a religious preference or a hobby (for me it was running) it must come straight from the heart. I didn’t understand the true meaning of loving someone until he came into my life. He continues to teach me things every day.

During my first marriage, I was ridiculously and meticulously religious. Judgemental much? Yes, all the time! I was concerned about what others thought me, my husband and my children. Individually and together. I wanted my children to dress in clothes that matched (not to their liking) and with perfectly coiffed hair. Being a mother of 2 daughters, they weren’t having it. It resulted in them getting a bob haircut. Easy to clip back and to brush out. My dreams of having children with hair nicely braided or ponied was a thing of the past. They would dress how I wanted them to dress, but how they acted at times and how their hair would look when not freshly brushed was beyond my control. I thought people were judging everything on the surface, like the house I lived in and what we drove around in. It’s a funny wake up call when you realize that people weren’t all that concerned about you, but about themselves.

I used to laugh and a giggle at EVERYTHING (even things that aren’t meant to be funny), which psychologically speaking, says an individual who does that is really unhappy. I have always said if I couldn’t laugh at a situation I would be crying. That alone could not be further from the truth.

Anthony made me see how I really was. I was selfish, self-centered, short-tempered, and controlling. I’m sure that I still am all these things, but just less intense. Let’s just say I am more aware of my shortcomings. Not running and my addiction to it made me finally turn around and face my issues head on. Our road together has NOT been easy, but there’s no other person I would go through this life than with him.

Peach Cobbler Recipe

There are many variations to this family favorite. I have used, peaches, pears, and a frozen bag of triple berries (blueberries, raspberries and blackberries). When using canned fruit/frozen fruits with no additional sugar added. You can use a 1/2 Cup of sugar for every cup of canned/frozen fruit used. If using frozen fruit, place fruit and sugar in a small saucepan and heat until fruit is thawed and sugar is dissolved before pouring it over the batter.

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 350 degrees for 45-55 min.

Ingredients:

8 tablespoons butter

1 Cup Sugar

1 1/2 Cup Flour

2 1/4 tsp baking powder

1 1/2 C. Milk

1- 29 ounce can sliced peaches in syrup

Cinnamon (to sprinkle on top)

Preheat oven to 350 F .

  1. In a 9″ x 13″ casserole dish place 8 tbsp in dish and put it in the oven while it’s preheating.
  2. Mix flour, baking powder and sugar and slowly whisk in milk.

2. Take out baking dish from oven and pour in batter.

3. Gently place peaches and syrup over the batter.

4. Sprinkle cinnamon and bake until top is golden brown. It took mine 55 minutes. Put on a dollop of whip cream or a scoop of ice cream and enjoy.

Hello from The Haros Family

First of all, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read this.

Here is an ever so brief introduction and then some. My name is Desiree. Anthony and I have 5.5 children. I have 3 daughters from my first marriage, Anthony has a son from a previous relationship and we have 1 daughter together and another on the way. We have been together for nearly two years and married for over one year.

I won’t go and dredge up my past life, because it’s completely unnecessary and I realize now that some people from my past FB account are more interested in the drama. So here’s to a clean slate and a more selective friendship list.

I find myself writing at 5am and unable to sleep being pregnant and all. Our baby’s estimated due date is July 5th and Anthony and I have decided on the name Kehlani Haros (still deciding on a middle name). She looks so much like her not so much older sister Brooklyn who is 9mths old.

We feel incredibly blessed to have such a big family, so I just had to share these early morning thoughts with all of you.

I took a much needed break from social media and reexamined a lot of decisions I have made in my life. Ultra running made it easy to run away from my problems. I ran to exhaustion making it so I was too tired to deal with the growing issues of my own insecurities and life situations. As a disclaimer as to not offend any of my running friends who may find themselves reading this:  This is about me and my relationship with running. I have said this time and time again, but what it really comes down to is balance.

In just a few months I will take up the sport that took up all my time and energy, but with a new perspective. I will not be training for any 100 milers in the near future, but if time allows I will be there to cheer you on and maybe run some with you. My end of the year goal is to run a half marathon with Anthony and Lexy (our 2nd daughter). The old me would have had at least a 50 mile goal in mind, but then again I can’t say that is out of the picture. Anyways, Lexy’s been on a few running adventures with me in the past and turns 17 next week! Seriously, where has the time gone?! If you feel so inclined to read about my past running experiences check out my old blog @ http://www.ultramarathonmama.wordpress.com

Upcoming posts will be about our family life, recipes, projects and our new business ventures. We are excited to share our journey with you so please feel free to take a moment and follow us.