Self-Awareness: Getting My Shine On

I learned about the term “glow-up” from my 17-year old daughter, Lexy. Wiktionary defined it as “the complete transformation in a person’s appearance for the better.” I have also learned that glow-ups are easier than what I have on my mind.  Is there a term for someone looking to change their inner appearance?

I can be quick to dole out advice to another, but if you are like me it is difficult to take when someone else is providing constructive feedback. You may get upset and slam a few doors in the process, but if you allow some time to quiet your mind, you will be surprised at what you will find within yourself.  If you want to become a better person, you need to become more self-aware. Here are some helpful ideas worth mentioning.

  1. The Daily Shine Podcast

During the week I listen to a daily podcast called “The Daily Shine.” It has me practicing ways I can become more self-aware. I like to take notes while I’m listening. I used to do it by pen and paper but found it more helpful to use my sticky notes app. All I can say is to keep listening, learning, and applying. You really aren’t learning if you don’t put it into action. 

Becoming self-aware has its own set of challenges. When I turn it into daily practice, my days turn into an arduous climb. I like to imagine that it is like someone messing with the incline on your virtual treadmill. I have to constantly put what I have learned into action. Unfortunately, my reactionary impulses are terribly on point. My breathing becomes short, I can feel a pounding in my chest and all I want to do is scream. I become agitated easily and provoked into unnecessary arguments. The term “mama bear’ I now realize, needn’t apply to the overprotective mom.

I know that a contributing factor to my mama bear tendencies is sleep deprivation. I have a hard time taking a nap as suggested by healthcare providers when they say, “When baby sleeps, you sleep.” I nod and smile, but it doesn’t work that way in my house. When Kylie is sleeping, I’m thinking about all the things I need to be doing or want to be doing. My want could be as simple as painting my nails (I like looking at freshly painted fingernails when I’m writing). Sleep is something I miss terribly. It is the uninterrupted sleep I crave nightly. As soon as I shut my eyes, Kylie starts clearing her throat, providing me fair warning that she is about to lose it. I appreciate that she doesn’t go from 0-100 like her sister, Brooklyn. It is a constant lesson I am learning: Not becoming my emotions which brings me to a second helpful idea.

2. The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer

My husband, Lexy, and I have read it. Self-awareness can go a long way into strengthening that inner muscle of controlling your emotions. It isn’t right to go off on my family because of my lack of sleep. It comes down to reigning in my own emotions with no excuses. Take some time to read this one and refer back to it often. There are times in the day when I seek peace and quiet, but I know that it isn’t a possibility.  How do I find stillness in the midst of a storm i.e., crying babies and the times when the older kids aren’t getting along? The tapping technique is helpful but I always return to deep breathing for long term effectiveness. Singer will have you wanting to highlight his entire book and then have you sharing it with friends and family. Lastly, a necessity in the arena to becoming better is improving our interpersonal connections.

3. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

My husband and I read this a while ago. It needs to be referred to often. Chapman talks about the “love tank.” It is not something that can be replenished on its own and requires constant care. Your relationship with your spouse does not and cannot run on auto-pilot no matter how stream-lined you think it is. This book has been around for a while and speaks for itself. You may realize that your own love language is shown through actions and not words or maybe it’s both. Whatever it may be, your spouse needs to know what that is. Mind readers do not exist. 

My last suggestion, do not bite off more than you can chew. I like to take on self-improvement ideas as if it were a project that has a specific deadline. Realize that there is no deadline, it is a forever process. Once you think you have a handle on it, a unique situation will arise. If you decide to take this journey to self-awareness, it will turn into a climb that will have you grabbing at roots and tree limbs, but I know that once I get there the view will be lovely. Don’t beat yourself up on what you aren’t doing. Remember to keep your focus on your improvements no matter how small. If you have helpful ideas of your own, please leave me a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

Life with My Elderly Parent

My mother at 38 years old.

My mother turned 79 this past March and has lived with my family for some time. At the end of the week, my husband and I are accompanying her to meet with a coordinator so that she can be approved to live in an assisted living facility.

While I was gathering her paperwork required for the meeting, I broke down in tears. Even as I write this I am caught up in a wave of emotions. She is my mother. The brave woman that came to America on her own to start a new life. She is the woman who never missed a tennis meet or piano recital, and encouraged me in all things academic.

A few months ago she expressed her fear of forgetting things. I told her she didn’t need to worry about that because she was such a good record keeper. A month later, I noticed that she has begun to forget things. Small things like a comment she made seconds before or telling her something only to have her ask me the same question three or four more times. When I say, “I already told you,” she gets really quiet and sits down on the couch to write something down in her binder. I have no idea what it is that she’s writing, but it breaks my heart to see her like this. I can see it in her face that she doesn’t like what’s happening, but also doesn’t want to admit it. She once had a mind like a steel trap, as my stepdad once said, and now there are perceptible holes that no one can fix.

She’s been having vivid dreams of those who have passed on. My grandmother, her brother Reuben who died in his 20’s and most recently my stepdad. We found out he passed away this past December. He had a short-temper during my childhood that only became worse as he got older. They lived in an apartment on Geary St. in San Francisco, so when they argued the neighbors would check up on my mother to make sure she was okay. He had never hit her, but she didn’t wait around for it to happen. She had enough and filed for divorce.

After that dream, she has hung up pictures of when they were together, all smiles. She now recalls her life with him as a blessing. She no longer berates the man he was, which is a strange thing to witness. After all these years, now he’s a saint? There was a lot of hurt caused by his actions towards her and myself that I have had to forgive. Not an easy task, but once the anger is gone, it is amazing how much better I feel.

She is my biggest critic outside of myself and the first one to tell me “I told you so.”She cannot understand why yelling at children doesn’t make them better people and has an opinion about everything. Here’s a short list.

Cooking: “That’s not going to taste very good. If I were you I would ___.” I don’t follow her directions when it comes to cooking American dishes. Her follow up comment is usually, “Oh, Dais that was sooo good. I’m glad you finally know how to cook!”

Child rearing: “When I was _____ (insert child’s name) age I couldn’t _____.”

For instance, the following conversation happened yesterday.

Isabel and Gage: Can we go outside?

Me: Yes, you guys can go outside.

Mom: In the rain? They are going to get pneumonia.

Me: I have ran 30 miles in the rain. They will be just fine.

Mom: When we were kids we weren’t allowed. We had to carry an umbrella.

Career Choices: “You can still ___.” I haven’t had much of a career unless you count being a mother. She expected me to become something she could brag about to her family back home. Anything I have actually done for a living hasn’t been a big money maker. At 40, I’m still working on that one.

Post-baby body: “Dais, how long will it take you to lose the weight?” As if I don’t already have any issues with my post-baby body. We all know where I’m at with this one.

I try not to get worked up about things she says and realize daily that I can’t change the opinion of a nearly 80 year old. I worry that there will come a day when she won’t remember my name or the names of her grandchildren. I have come to terms with the fact that her time here on earth is waning and I do my best every day to remember that. All I can really do is to continue to love her unconditionally.

The Road to Self-Acceptance

It has been nearly a month since I gave birth to Kylie. Time sure flies with little sleep. You know the kind, where the days blend together and you can’t remember the day of the week or the date for that matter. This morning, we had to take Isabel to the dentist for a check up and when it came to filling out the date for that COVID-19 form asking questions like “Have you traveled outside the U.S. in the last month” and so on. I could not remember the date, even though I knew the answer prior to walking through the door. Does forgetfulness continue post pregnancy?

The hardest part about post pregnancy is the comparison I make towards the old me. You know, the one who would be running a lot or at the gym every day. Not that there is anything wrong with staying in shape, but I tend to be an extremist at times. It is something I’m working on not repeating. I would spend a few hours at the gym, have enough time for a short nap before working for nine and a half hours staring at a computer screen inputting data for a title company. Underpaid and unhappy I took my frustrations to the gym or running. Being fit and unhappy wasn’t the balance I promoted on my old Instagram account, but it sure looked good. I realize that I am my worst critic and I have to constantly give myself permission that I’m doing well where I’m at. Self acceptance is a hard pill for me swallow, it always has been.

The break I took from social media has brought to my attention the lengths I would go to make things look better than it seemed. Going from fit to not fit in a matter of months was a huge blow to my ego. There are days where I struggle with looking at my own reflection. I try not to be self critical around my kids, because I don’t want them to have the same sort of hangups.

I want to be fit again and I want it now. I am like a kid waiting for the tooth fairy to come. I really can’t think of a better simile. There is the pain and then the pay off. (Side note: I thought I was doing well when I would find $.25 under my pillow. Can you believe the tooth fairy is giving $3 per tooth these days? At least that’s what the tooth fairy’s assistant is telling me, aka, my husband.

I’m not one to dwell on a problem without creating a solution. A week after Kylie’s birth, Anthony and I started walking. I have also started a weight lifting and calisthenics regiment. The walking hasn’t been tough and I even started running a few days ago. Losing the weight could have been much easier post baby, but my motivation to run while pregnant dwindled fairly quickly when the nausea set in as did working out at all. The cycle of giving into cravings and eating healthy was also a constant battle. Even after the nausea subsided, I still didn’t like the idea of running. Of course, by the end of the pregnancy I anxiously waited for the moment I could put on my running shoes without having to struggle around my preggo belly.

The road to getting back into shape is the same. There is no quick pill or shortcut. I have learned over and over again that consistency and determination is the key. Getting back into ultrarunning is not about who I can impress, it has more to do with proving to myself that I can and will be able to do it again. When I told my friend, Nancy, that I wanted to run Azalea 12/24 Hour in November (possibly the 50), she told me to take it slow. Wise words that I will heed to. I don’t plan on running 100 miles this year, but I’d sure love to do another epic run when I am ready. There are times when Badwater 135 and The Vol State call my name, but I have learned that establishing a hard date when I’m not ready, makes the process even more frustrating. The lesson that I continually revisit is to take the scenic route and enjoy the journey.

Parenting: Adapt and Grow

I never imagined being a step parent. Then again, I never imagined a lot of things, but they happened.

The love I have for my husband extends to his son, now our son, Gage. Being a mother of girls and only girls I have learned a lot. Did I think I had learned more than enough about kids? I could confidently give a resounding “YES!”, but that was a couple of years ago. Life was like, “Desiree, there is much more for you to learn. Let’s see how you can adapt to having another three!” Having a nearly 6 year old son in the house has thrown me for a loop.

His energy level cannot be rivaled against anyone in this house. He can run around all day and still have the energy of someone ready to run a marathon. You know how that old saying goes, “If you could bottle up that energy, we would be millionaires” it is the honest to goodness truth. I really wish I could have his kind of energy. I believe I could get a lot more done in a shorter amount of time.

He has a wonderful imagination. His favorite song is “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly, but before he could hurt himself, we had to tell him that the song wasn’t really about flying. He has a unique take on life and is eager to get approval, especially when he’s suggesting ways to get things done. I continue to learn a lot from him.  When it comes to taking time out of being the busy mom, he reminds me that I need to just enjoy all the little things.

Today, Anthony and I went out for a walk and brought Gage along. It was a beautiful clear blue sky type of morning and we were anxious to get our miles in. We took one loop around the lake, but Gage wanted to go over the bridge and stand on a little island where the ducks like to gather. We told him we’d go over there the next time around. At the beginning of the second loop, he was already lagging, but I knew it wouldn’t be as simple as saying, “Hurry up, let’s go.” If you are a parent, you know that a child’s mind says the opposite. We slowly made our way over to the bridge where he was able to sit and watch the ducks, while we walked loops around the island and the bridge.

When kids aren’t agreeing to your terms of rigidity, we as parents must adapt and grow. Just remember, they aren’t going to be little forever. 

The Proust Questionnaire: A Quiz About You

Facebook and Instagram have been my go-to social media platforms since 2014. Where else can you view a positive spin on the lives of others? We all have our beautiful days, but we also have those ugly moments. The kind seen behind closed doors far from the prying eyes of FB “friends” and followers. The disconnection that social media promotes with the option of filters makes it all the more difficult in getting to know people at their core. We all see the fluff, but what about the other important things that make us who we are?

These thoughts have led me share the Proust Questionnaire. I first heard about it in a creative writing class. Its primary purpose was to learn more about my fictional character, but since my final project for the class was a nonfiction piece about myself, I answered the questions.

If you’re curious to know more about your friends or loved ones, this questionnaire is only 35 questions and makes for a good in-depth conversation piece. Since we do have five daughters, this might be a good questionnaire to give to all future son-in-laws.

Are you looking at this from an internal point of view? I find myself going back to this questionnaire once a year. Life has a way of making me see it in different angles so my answers will continue to evolve.

Let me know what you think. If you dare feel free to share your answers in the comments. 

Proust Questionnaire

  1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
  2. What is your greatest fear?
  3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
  4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
  5. Which living person do you most admire?
  6. What is your greatest extravagance?
  7. What is your current state of mind?
  8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
  9. On what occasion do you lie?
  10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
  11. Which living person do you most despise?
  12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
  13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
  14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
  15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
  16. When and where were you happiest?
  17. Which talent would you most like to have?
  18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
  19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
  20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
  21. Where would you most like to live?
  22. What is your most treasured possession?
  23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
  24. What is your favorite occupation?
  25. What is your most marked characteristic?
  26. What do you most value in friends?
  27. Who are your favorite writers?
  28. Who is your hero of fiction?
  29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
  30. Who are your heroes in real life?
  31. What are your favorite names?
  32. What is it that you most dislike?
  33. What is your greatest regret?
  34. How would you like to die?
  35. What is your motto?

Labor, Delivery and Birth in the Time of COVID-19

June 26, 2020

12:15 AM– I woke up and felt a warm gush of fluid on my backside. I poked my husband and said, “It’s time. My water broke.” He snapped into action without a single word. These sort of things happen in the most unexpected times. My friend, Zury, had her water break while picking up crickets at a pet store.

When I got up out of bed and stood up, a stream of fluid came rushing out of me. “Yeah, this isn’t a false alarm my water really did break.” Immune to other comments I made throughout the previous day due to a false alarm the previous Monday, we agreed we would not make another trip to the hospital unless my water broke. Mucous plug gone, close contractions and this being my fifth baby, meant nothing, except for the simple fact that anything could happen at anytime.

I have heard stories of women having their second baby so quickly that they had no time to get to the hospital. Well, I was on my fifth one and this one seemed just as stubborn as the last.

Brooklyn was born nearly 11 months prior. Labor and delivery took a total of 12 hours. With that said, I was prepared for a long night. In our overnight bag, we had two four packs of Redbull. The second pack was courtesy of our seven year old daughter. A gift for Father’s Day.

We were both pretty groggy as we replenished our overnight bag with extra clothes, cell phone chargers, and RedBulls for my husband . 15 minutes later we headed to the hospital.

12:30 AM– We listened to “Nonstop” by Drake on the way to the hospital, passing through the empty streets of Citrus County into downtown Inverness. We are are from the epicenter of COVID-19. There are currently 264 confirmed cases and 12 deaths, compared to Miami-Dade with 31,562 and 947 deaths. Earlier in the day I had my introduction to COVID-19 testing. I had curbside testing done with a dry swab up my right nostril in preparation to being induced Sunday June 28th at 6pm. Dr. Gonzales wanted to make sure I was having the baby before Week 40.

12:50-7:45AM– I was all checked in and hooked up to a monitor for any changes. The nurses were waiting for Dr. Antony to make a decision to either give me Pitocin or wait the contractions out. Thankfully, Pitocin was the answer.

10:00 AM– I had the epidural. I have experienced one birth without one and I really did not want to experience that again, so yes I opted for a less painful labor and delivery. My attending nurse, Crystal told me to tell her that when I felt like, “Taking the biggest dump of your lifetime.” The heads up would give her just enough time to let Dr. Antony know that it was time for me to push that baby out.

11:20 AM– I let her know.

11:30-11:35 AM– Four pushes later, Kylie Augusta Haros came into the world. Anthony cut the cord while she rested on my chest. 7 lbs 12 oz. 21” long. Her lungs were strong unlike the birth of her older sister who had a cord wrapped around her neck. It was a completely different scene that occurred in the same room in the not so distant past.

The nurses and doctors at Citrus Memorial Hospital were absolutely wonderful to us. We joke about looking forward to our “vacation” next year, but we both know I need a break from the preggo scene. For now we are going to enjoy our time with our family and revisit the topic of trying for a boy for another season.

Thanks for taking the time to read our post. Labor, delivery and birth in the time of COVID-19 was a success and we are ever so grateful for all the blessings our family has received during these scary times.

What Happens When You “Win” a Storage Unit…or Two

I can safely say we didn’t know what we were really getting into when we received our email notifications letting us know we won not one, but two storage units. A couple of questions that ran through my head was, “Where are we going to put all that stuff and how good are our returns going to be?

At the beginning of May we purchased a couple of storage units through an online auction. Both facilities required the units to be cleaned out within 72 hours.  During this time span we made two trips to Leesburg, and immediately after the second trip, we made our way down to South Beach.

The unit in Leesburg was filled with furniture, electronics, clothing, antiques, personal effects and miscellaneous items (i.e. chess pieces from Pirates of the Carribbean in an old Tide pod detergent bottle). One can gain an interesting perspective into a family’s life. A couple of lifetimes were stored in the storage bins, from old high school football jerseys to family photos and even a signed copy of Jo Frost from Supernanny.

Here are the top 6 things we learned from purchasing storage units.

#1. Google Lens is a powerful tool. You can find out exactly what you have and how much it is currently selling for, if it’s selling at all. For example, if you are selling anything on letgo, Offerup, or Craigslist, you can expect to make from a half to a quarter of what you actually paid for. If someone is interested in purchasing your item, sell it to them, don’t wait because nine times out of ten they will give you the highest offer.

#2. Michael Jordan sports cards from Fleet in 1992 are not worth what you think. This is worth more like $3-$4 dollars. If you want to increase the value, get it signed. My advice is to keep it for your future generations or gift it to someone who is a die hard fan.

#3. An antique Handyman Milwaukee Picnic Table that weighs 25 lbs will cost a lot to ship to a buyer in New Mexico. UPS ground quoted us at $120 and packaging at $25. We sold this item for $180. We settled with USPS for $61 and no packaging. Make sure you include the shipping charge in the cost of your item. I had only charged $5 to get this monstrosity shipped, but in the end it was still worth the returns. Unfortunately people do not care for antique things. People these days are into new things looking like vintage. You can find deals all day long on OfferUp, if you want an antique. As the wife of a husband who fixes and reupholsters furniture pieces for a living, I respect the craftmanship of furniture before particle board and pressed board came into play, not that this picnic table was made out of solid wood.

If you think you have solid wood furniture or leather upholstery, double and triple check before purchasing. Too many people have come to Anthony thinking they have solid wood furniture only to find out that their overpriced dining table was stamp painted to look like cherry wood or the thousands they paid to get that perfect home office desk was veneer. Also, not all leather pieces have leather throughout, some furniture companies, put in cheap fabric or pleather. Ask an expert, if you aren’t sure.

Calvin Burnett Original

#4. A Calvin Burnett Original (pictured above) is best sold on EBay. I sent out inquiries to Auction Houses as far as LA that have quoted the piece from as low as $100 and as high as $400, which does not include their 25% commission fee. We have decided to take our chances as private sellers, so if you know of an art collector interested in this piece, please drop us a line.

#5. Donald Trump ties are worth very little in resale. Speaking of which here is my shameless plug to go to my Poshmark Closet and make me a deal on all the ties I have posted @aloharise. At this point I just want to get rid of them in bulk. Then again, I do realize during this time of COVID-19 no one is getting dressed in a suit these days, especially in Citrus County, Florida.

#6. How to know if you bought an authentic Louis Vuitton bag?

The hardware used on the bag is an indicator. Fake bags will often have painted gold plastic whereas an authentic will have gold or brass metal hardware imprinted with the trademark LV logo.

Wondering if you have a fake Prada? Check under the zipper for the following: Lampo, Opti, Riri, Ipi and YKK. If it is blank on the back, you have a fake on your hands.

When all was said and done, we did turn a profit, not as high as we hoped, but not bad for first time “winners.” We have sold, donated and have some refinishing work to do on a select few furniture pieces, so the overwhelming part of where everything was going has been taken care of. We will be bidding on others, but will definitely be more selective in the future.

Please join us again soon as we Aloha, Rise & Grind another day.

Peach Cobbler and More…

If I can’t laugh at a situation, I would be crying.

As this pregnancy begins to wind down, I have gone into full on nesting mode. I am 33 weeks along. There are days when I felt like I lived in the kitchen, but I’m sure you are realizing now that this post isn’t just about peach cobbler.

We have lived in our current rental for over a year and a half, but it hasn’t really felt like home until now.

There have been so many changes since 2018. My kids and mother have had to adjust to having Anthony in their lives. The adjustment to Step dad and then being called Dad has been at times an intense process, but a loving one. He loves my children as his own and shows it daily. He goes above and beyond looking after their needs and their well-being. They will always go to him before me when they need to talk or need some advice. I am forever grateful for all that he does.

I have come to realizations time and time again that a marriage cannot simply be based on a religious preference or a hobby (for me it was running) it must come straight from the heart. I didn’t understand the true meaning of loving someone until he came into my life. He continues to teach me things every day.

During my first marriage, I was ridiculously and meticulously religious. Judgemental much? Yes, all the time! I was concerned about what others thought me, my husband and my children. Individually and together. I wanted my children to dress in clothes that matched (not to their liking) and with perfectly coiffed hair. Being a mother of 2 daughters, they weren’t having it. It resulted in them getting a bob haircut. Easy to clip back and to brush out. My dreams of having children with hair nicely braided or ponied was a thing of the past. They would dress how I wanted them to dress, but how they acted at times and how their hair would look when not freshly brushed was beyond my control. I thought people were judging everything on the surface, like the house I lived in and what we drove around in. It’s a funny wake up call when you realize that people weren’t all that concerned about you, but about themselves.

I used to laugh and a giggle at EVERYTHING (even things that aren’t meant to be funny), which psychologically speaking, says an individual who does that is really unhappy. I have always said if I couldn’t laugh at a situation I would be crying. That alone could not be further from the truth.

Anthony made me see how I really was. I was selfish, self-centered, short-tempered, and controlling. I’m sure that I still am all these things, but just less intense. Let’s just say I am more aware of my shortcomings. Not running and my addiction to it made me finally turn around and face my issues head on. Our road together has NOT been easy, but there’s no other person I would go through this life than with him.

Peach Cobbler Recipe

There are many variations to this family favorite. I have used, peaches, pears, and a frozen bag of triple berries (blueberries, raspberries and blackberries). When using canned fruit/frozen fruits with no additional sugar added. You can use a 1/2 Cup of sugar for every cup of canned/frozen fruit used. If using frozen fruit, place fruit and sugar in a small saucepan and heat until fruit is thawed and sugar is dissolved before pouring it over the batter.

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 350 degrees for 45-55 min.

Ingredients:

8 tablespoons butter

1 Cup Sugar

1 1/2 Cup Flour

2 1/4 tsp baking powder

1 1/2 C. Milk

1- 29 ounce can sliced peaches in syrup

Cinnamon (to sprinkle on top)

Preheat oven to 350 F .

  1. In a 9″ x 13″ casserole dish place 8 tbsp in dish and put it in the oven while it’s preheating.
  2. Mix flour, baking powder and sugar and slowly whisk in milk.

2. Take out baking dish from oven and pour in batter.

3. Gently place peaches and syrup over the batter.

4. Sprinkle cinnamon and bake until top is golden brown. It took mine 55 minutes. Put on a dollop of whip cream or a scoop of ice cream and enjoy.

Hello from The Haros Family

First of all, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read this.

Here is an ever so brief introduction and then some. My name is Desiree. Anthony and I have 5.5 children. I have 3 daughters from my first marriage, Anthony has a son from a previous relationship and we have 1 daughter together and another on the way. We have been together for nearly two years and married for over one year.

I won’t go and dredge up my past life, because it’s completely unnecessary and I realize now that some people from my past FB account are more interested in the drama. So here’s to a clean slate and a more selective friendship list.

I find myself writing at 5am and unable to sleep being pregnant and all. Our baby’s estimated due date is July 5th and Anthony and I have decided on the name Kehlani Haros (still deciding on a middle name). She looks so much like her not so much older sister Brooklyn who is 9mths old.

We feel incredibly blessed to have such a big family, so I just had to share these early morning thoughts with all of you.

I took a much needed break from social media and reexamined a lot of decisions I have made in my life. Ultra running made it easy to run away from my problems. I ran to exhaustion making it so I was too tired to deal with the growing issues of my own insecurities and life situations. As a disclaimer as to not offend any of my running friends who may find themselves reading this:  This is about me and my relationship with running. I have said this time and time again, but what it really comes down to is balance.

In just a few months I will take up the sport that took up all my time and energy, but with a new perspective. I will not be training for any 100 milers in the near future, but if time allows I will be there to cheer you on and maybe run some with you. My end of the year goal is to run a half marathon with Anthony and Lexy (our 2nd daughter). The old me would have had at least a 50 mile goal in mind, but then again I can’t say that is out of the picture. Anyways, Lexy’s been on a few running adventures with me in the past and turns 17 next week! Seriously, where has the time gone?! If you feel so inclined to read about my past running experiences check out my old blog @ http://www.ultramarathonmama.wordpress.com

Upcoming posts will be about our family life, recipes, projects and our new business ventures. We are excited to share our journey with you so please feel free to take a moment and follow us.